


Sweet Dreams

by Sapphire_Ruby



Category: jacksepticeye
Genre: Blood, Fluff, Gen, Nightmares, Whump, sleepover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-04 13:27:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21198389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sapphire_Ruby/pseuds/Sapphire_Ruby
Summary: So, this is a story centered around baby boy Jameson, who has been having nightmares. Nightmares so bad that he can't fall back asleep.





	1. Awake Again

Jameson couldn’t sleep. But that wasn’t new. Sometimes it all just felt too strange, not real in a way. And then he’d be awake. And he would be too afraid or too anxious to dare and close his eyes again, no matter how badly his body needed it. His mind would just play tricks on him was all. Nothing some hot tea, some reading, and time awake couldn’t fix. Maybe occasionally checking in on his brothers while they slept if it got to be too much. Normally though, Jamie was careful not to wake them. And if there was one thing he knew how to do, it was be silent.

Jamie didn’t turn his night stand lamp on. That was always too bright after already being jarred awake. No, he opened up the first drawer and took out the now handy flashlight that he had stored in there. With a flick of the switch, the dresser was reflecting a soft yellowish light. Sure the flashlight was old, but that was kind of the point. Soft light, soft thoughts, soft steps across the room and towards the kitchen.

As he left, he instinctively closed the bedroom door behind him. Or rather, moved it shut, but left a crack open so all he had to do was a gentle nudge to get back to his warm bed he would soon be missing. Tonight was gonna be an easier night for Jamie; light bit of tea, some reading, and he’d soon be straight in the head. Luckily this nightmare only needed his go-to coping mechanisms. Standard nightmare was all. That’s what he’d tell himself. Standard.

The small beam of light didn’t help Jamie see more than five feet in front of him, but if needed, he could find his way through this house in the dark. Just from the feel of the wall, the creaks from the floor, the dull corners. All tactile memories from roaming about at night. He had to learn them because of the first times, when he was afraid of turning any light on and alerting the others. But, he had learned slowly that light was fine, in small doses. And especially after he got down the stairs. Who besides him would be up at whatever hour his horrors haunted him?

Sliding down the last few steps of the staircase, Jamie’s mouth started to salivate at the unconscious anticipation of tea. His mind started to wander about what flavor tea when he saw it. There was a light streaming into the main room. From the kitchen of all places. Jamie’s feet rooted in place as he slowly turned his light off. Intruders weren’t something he was ready for. Nor something he could handle.

Keeping a hand along the wall, Jamie carefully moved his feet backwards, trying to find the wooden steps he had just descended, keeping his eyes fixed on the light. He had just finished rounding the corner and got a solid foot on a step when a shadow appeared on the floor in front of him. _Not good. Not. Good._


	2. Get Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something is downstairs… Someone is downstairs…

Spinning around, Jamie dashed up the stairs, not caring how much noise he made. Noise, this time, may have actually been a good thing. In all his haste, Jamie found himself tripping over the steps, slamming his arm and leg into the wooden edge. Clambering up the steps, he hoped for safety.

Jackie. He was strong, fast, someone that could handle this. Second door on the right. Jamie ran along the side of the wall, feeling for the changes in texture between drywall and hardwood. One... Two. Here. Small glints of light reflected off the handle. Jamie grabbed it, rammed it open with his body, and quickly closed it, pressing his back to the door.

“Freeze!” Whoops. Guess Jamie was too loud. And now scared too. Frozen in fact. The dampened moonlight only showed Jackie’s silhouette. Battle stance, as Jackie would call it. It looked like maybe he was holding something in his hand. Maybe it wasn’t a gun (Jackie didn’t use guns), but with his superhuman strength, anything he had could be a weapon. Jamie didn’t want to reach for the light switch. Sudden movements and all that. And grasping at the handle, Jamie realized he didn’t have his flashlight either. Seemed he dropped it on the stairs.

Jamie couldn’t tell Jackie it was him. His chest started moving faster, shallower. His heart started moving more than it should have. The sound of thumps started growing louder, filling what was a nearly silent room. Jamie didn’t want to be hurt, but how could he stop it? 

Light. “Jamie?” Jackie had turned on a lamp. “What are you doing in my room?” Jackie was squinting to see Jamie. His hair messed around and his face tired. “What’s wrong Jamie?” Jamie was still paralyzed. Eyes wide, even though the light starting to burn a bit. Mouth open to try and get more air into his collapsing lungs.

Jackie lifted himself from the bed and approached his little brother. Jamie felt like he started to open the door, but his body didn’t move. He just kept staring at Jackie, his heart pounding. Jamie could feel himself start to slip into his mind.

The older protector gripped the small one’s shoulders. He seemed scared stiff. “Jamie, what’s going on?” Jackie urged, shaking Jamie.

Jamie’s eyes started to focus on things again. The ceiling, and then the light, and his brother’s face. He felt his entire body was numb, but then it slowly started returning. And so did his other terror. At least he wasn’t afraid of Jackie right now.

He could feel his hands shaking again, so signing would have been useless. Instead, Jamie simply started frantically pointing down at the floor, starting to move away from Jackie so he could open the door. “Downstairs?” Jamie’s head bobbed up and down. Finally managing to break free of Jackie’s grip, he swung the door open.

“Stay here.” Jackie, clad in his superhero pajamas, marched outside the door. And despite the trembling Jamie felt inside, he felt a small wave of calm when Jackie started moving. Pajamas or not, Jackie was a hero for Jamie.

Jackie charged out of the room. Jamie scrambled to keep up with him, turning on the lights Jackie neglected to. He may have memorized every nook and cranny, but that didn’t mean the others had. “I said wait up here,” Jackie barked. He must have noticed the sudden change in light. And just like that, Jamie was rooted in place again.

As Jackie embarked down the stairs, Jamie staggered back up against the hall wall. He waited until he heard the last stair creak, then turned off the hall light. He didn’t want to wake his other brothers, if it could be helped. Then Jamie sank into the floor and brought his legs closer to his chest. _You’re fine. You did nothing wrong_. He told himself. _Jackie just wants you to stay safe_. 


	3. Nightmares are Real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackie ‘ll take care of it. I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning: nightmares, blood, mutilation

The shadows started to have contrast. Walls were bathed in the faint light that comes from being in the dark too long, but vines absent of any light started crawling up them. The air got cold and Jamie could feel his chest start getting heavier. He took in a deep breath and it sputtered out of him just as his lungs filled up. He could feel ice piercing into the sides of his mind. His hands pressed against his head in a feeble attempt to warm it up. Maybe to shut out the silence as well. If he could hear blood rushing through his body...

Jamie shut his eyes and was in a frozen tundra. A voice from far away started shouting. He couldn’t make out the words, but it felt like they were shouting for him. Then a figure appeared in front of him. A distorted Henrik. It was as if someone had created an icy version of the doctor, with frostbite and ice spikes covering his body and his bloody white coat. Jamie saw Henrik’s lips move, but the biting wind blocked the sound out. Henrik reached out and grabbed Jamie, ice shards puncturing his skin. Jamie signed for Jackie, but he wasn’t going to be coming, not now. Henrik motioned with his arm for Jamie to follow him, but Jamie wouldn’t leave his spot. Not for this demented doctor. Wind and frost bitten, Jamie felt he had a better chance here than with him.

Henrik scooped Jamie up in his arms, prickling all of Jamie with his bitter frozen grip. _“leave me alone,”_ Jamie signed. But of course Henrik couldn’t see that, or chose to ignore him. Jamie started to try and struggle, but that only tightened Henrik’s grip. He clawed at the elbow of his arm. If he chipped the ice, maybe he would be dropped. His fingers dug into it and he felt the two of them stop moving. Water started to fall from the arm, but Henrik didn’t let go. Jamie dug in harder and suddenly fell onto the icy snow. Jamie looked up at Henrik. The ice man smiled as he dug into his own chest and ripped out a blue chunk of himself. Grinning, he squeezed his hand and rain started dripping over Jamie’s face.

Jamie closed his eyes to avoid the heartbreak, and was back in reality. He was laying on something soft, his body wrapped in a blanket, head elevated. Light illuminated the couch he was put on. Pushing his hands into the cushions, Jamie sat himself up and rolled his legs over the side. He lifted up his shirt to see if there were any puncture marks or bruises. Nothing. Next, his back. No soreness. Jamie covered his heart with his hands. Breathe in for four. Count to three. Breathe out for four. Rise and fall. The hope was that his heart rate would slow. It wouldn’t.

Jamie felt his face. It was colder than the rest of his body. He ran two fingers down his cheek. It felt like there was water on his face. He examined his hand. Red. He was bleeding? Starting to panic, Jamie rubbed the rest of his face, trying to get the blood off. Seeing his hands again, they were just, wet. But his right fingers still had blood on them. Jamie turned his hand over. No cuts. His fingernails. There was blood around them. Had he been scratching something?

“It’s alright Jamie.” His whole body was thrown back against the couch and his legs hit the edge of the coffee table. Henrik? “You’re alright.” Jamie turned his head toward the other seat, where a nice, warm Henrik resided. Nothing like the ice man of his nightmare.

_“Henrik?”_ Jamie signed, _“what’s going on?”_ Jamie’s mind started making assumptions that he didn’t want to be true.

“Well, I’d like to know that too.”


	4. This is Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares. They were just, nightmares. That’s all.

“You woke up Jackie and he came flying down the stairs, thinking that there was danger. In reality, the only danger was that I would burn my tongue on some coffee. He explained that you were scared stiff and that if there wasn't any danger, I should have a look at you. Jamie... We found you on the ground, twitching and signing for Jackie. He carried you down here so I could examine you, but when he tried to put you down, you started clawing at him. ... We tried to make you as comfortable as we could. You started getting a temperature, so I was dabbing your face with a damp washcloth when you suddenly woke up.” Jamie looked down at his hands again. He blinked and flashed to the tundra. Blink and back again. “Jamie, Jameson...” Jamie heavily lifted his head. This wasn't his nightmares, but this was bad. He saw his brother, his eyes searching and pained.

_“Jackie’s gonna be okay, right Henrik?”_ Jamie gestured.

“Yeah, Jackie ‘ll be fine,” Henrik waved away the notion of harm. “But ... it’s you we’re concerned about.” Henrik sighed. This wasn’t going to be easy for either of them. “How often do you have these nightmares?”

Jamie didn’t want his family to know that he was even experiencing these. But, now they knew, so he had to say something. He thought he had them managed. _“A couple of times.”_

“A couple of times, what. A month, a week, a night?”

Jamie hesitated. They were nearly every night now, but only one per night. Tonight was an exception. _“A week.”_

Henrik sighed again, covering his eyes and leaning into his hand so as to not show Jamie how he was feeling. He took a deep breath to recompose himself before going into doctor mode to continue getting answers. “And what have you been doing to help with these?”

_“Making some tea, and some reading,”_ Jamie signed slowly. _“Normally, no one else is up, so I try and stay quiet and let time pass before I can sleep again.”_

“How long does it normally take before you can go back to sleep?”

Jamie never kept track of the time, but from feeling alone, it was normally around an hour and a half to two hours. _“I don’t keep track of the time.”_

“Do you remember when they started?” Jamie shook his head, lying. The less talking he had to do, the easier he felt it would be. It wasn’t working that way. “Have you noticed any other changes in your health? Have you been eating less, been more irritable, had blackouts, found inexplicable bruises, things like that?” Jamie knew that he probably was experiencing some of those things, but if he was he wasn’t noticing them. Or maybe he just got used to them.

_“Not that I think so,”_ he signed. He wasn’t coherent; he wasn’t comfortable. _“Henrik, do we have to do this right now?”_

“I’m just trying to ... understand Jamie. I only have a few more questions.” They both took a large breath and long pause before Henrik continued his line. “You were calling out for Jackie tonight. Did you know you were doing that?” Jamie looked down at this hands again. _Jackie..._ “Do you often call out for him, or one of us? ... Do your nightmares often involve us? ... Do you remember your nightmares?” Jamie just kept staring at his hands, the blood on them, and thinking too much. He stood up, not taking his eyes off his hands, and went over to the kitchen. It had a sink to wash this mistake off of him.

Jamie lifted the sink handle with his arm, not caring if it was hot or cold water. He pumped some soap into his palm, making sure to hit the plunger with his other wrist so as to not get blood anywhere else. Letting the suds cover his hands, Jamie started scrubbing away. Everything started turning red again, so he let the water wash it away. Blood was still under his nails. More soap. He scrubbed, scratching his palms to get the soap under. His hands still felt dirty. Wash away the red bubbles, replace it with white liquid. Scrub again. Jamie could feel himself starting to warm up.

“Jamie!” Jamie’s whole body was shifted, turned ninety degrees left. His arms, gripped tight by Henirk’s hands. His hands, dripping wet and red hot. The sound of running water hitting the metal basin was grounding. Jamie just stared blankly at Henrik. Henrik was...... large eyes, lips slightly parted, pale face, and heavy breaths...... Distraught. “Jameson.” Henrik voice was soft, but still breathy, almost like he had just been running. But he couldn’t be out of breath running from the living room into the kitchen. Jamie’s eyes grew wide as the gravity of it hit him. Henrik was scared for Jamie. Henrik, was scared. For Jamie. And he wasn’t scared. But now, he was.


	5. Frozen Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry. I’m sorry Henrik. I’m.... I’m scared.

Jamie could feel the back of his throat drying up and his eyes growing itchy and wet. Warm wet. Henrik let go and gripped the back of Jamie’s shirt with his left hand. He stepped forward and wrapped Jamie with his right arm. Moving his arms, Henrik settled with a tight squeeze, holding Jamie’s entire torso close to himself.

Jamie’s hands were on his sides at first, his arms slightly pinned. Henrik didn’t do this sort of thing. But Henrik was so warm right now. And Jamie felt like he was so... broken. He laid his head on Henrik’s left shoulder, even if it was slightly uncomfortable cause Henrik was taller. His arms wrapped around Henrik’s lower back. Jamie’s grip wasn’t as tight, but Henrik knew Jamie was there. The two just stood there. Holding each other. Trying to come to grips with their realities.

He focused on what was there. Henrik smelled of his soap, what Jamie imagined a waterfall was like. Slight hint of coffee too. His shirt, while damp because of Jamie, had a familiar softness to it. Jamie's chest was being warmed up by Henrik's. His ears rang with a melodious heart beat. Whether it was his or Henrik's, Jamie didn't know, but it was calming. This was nice. This was real. This was heart-warming.

Then Jamie felt a tightness in his chest, and his stomach. There was a weight on his back, pressure on his arms, and a new head over his right shoulder. Henrik, Jamie, and then who he could only assume was Jackie. Jackie breathed heavily, pressing on Jamie and making his breathing slow down to Jackie’s pace. “We got you buddy,” Jackie whispered. Jamie felt his lungs start to convulse again, part of another crying fit. He wasn't even entirely sure why he was crying. But, Jackie was a wall of calm. Deep breath in, long exhale out, making sure that Jamie would follow along.

He felt safe, protected. Sure he _knew_ he could always count on his brothers. But for the first time in months, he felt that. Really felt it. Belief may have been the best way to describe it. Really believe his brothers would always back him up. And Jamie didn't want to leave this feeling. But he couldn't stay right there, sandwiched with hugs forever. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to cement every aspect, every feeling into his memory. Then he let his breath go and tapped Henrik three times.

Jamie's arms were stiff, but eventually moved to let Henrik leave. His head felt heavy on his own shoulders. Henrik started sliding his arms out and Jamie felt Jackie lift from his back. Shaking all his joints out, Jamie started to gain more feeling of his body. Even though he wasn't surrounded, he was still warm.

“You- you'll um, probably want some tea.” Henrik sniffled. He was already facing the sink, his left hand on the counter steadying him, the right arm wiping his face. Even if Jamie couldn’t seen him, he was sure Henrik's eyes were red. Undoubtedly like Jamie's. “Don't try to make it yourself. I got this for ya.” Henrik's right arm supplemented his words. “Go ahead and just get yourself comfortable on the couch. I'll- I'll bring it out when it's ready.” Henrik shooed them away with his hand, then started walking over to the mug cupboard.

Jamie wanted to stay and help Henrik. It wasn't that he didn't trust Henrik, but... maybe he just wanted to spend more time with him. Suddenly, he felt his arm interlock with another and start getting dragged. “Come on J, let's let Henrik work.” Turning towards Jackie, Jamie staggered along behind him out of the kitchen and back to the living room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nice wholesomeness right? I know it was a short one, but I wanted to keep this scene separate from everything, make it a frozen moment.


	6. Would a sleepover help?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanna help. I don’t want... want to be... ... I don’t.

Taking the blanket in his hand, Jackie sat down on the far cushion of the couch and placed Jamie down onto the middle one. He laid the blanket over both of their legs. Jackie was always saying he was cold.

“So, Jamie, wanna have a sleepover?” The corners of Jamie's lips turned into a reluctant smile as he turned towards Jackie. Jackie was wearing that stupid large grin on his face and his head tilted to one side, kind of like a puppy dog. Jamie's lips parted and his smile grew as he let out a little giggle. Jackie was always good at getting him to do that.

_“And what would we even-”_ Jamie started signing, but froze when he saw the white bandage wrapped around Jackie's left arm. Jackie noticed quickly.

“Don't worry about that Jamie.” Jackie pushed his arm into the back of the couch, near the side of his body so it was out of Jamie's sight. “I've had worse scraps and scratches and bruises.” He never lost his smile, but Jamie could see that this one was harder to keep up.

_“Does it... hurt?”_ Jamie regretted asking as soon as he put his hands down. Of course it hurt, he had drawn blood.

“Hurt? No, no. It's like if you got a paper cut. No biggie.”

_“You sure?”_

“Yes. I'm totally fine. Henrik insisted it be bandaged to speed up the healing process.” Jamie wasn’t fully satisfied, but he knew Jackie wouldn't budge more than this. He had an incredibly high pain tolerance, and even if he was in pain, he would never let Jamie know it. Superhero healing and all.

“Now, back to this sleepover. What do you want to do? Board games, movie, talk about your pin collection?”

Jamie liked the idea of a movies, but... _“Wouldn't a movie be a bit too loud?”_

“Not if we kept the volume low. Or, we could just invite the other guys to the party, and then we could be as loud as we want!” Jackie wouldn't admit it, but Jamie felt that if he were to find himself in a questionable — dare he say mischievous — situation, Jackie would have probably gotten him into it. Maybe Jackie just had a different perception of risk.

_“No, we really shouldn't-”_

“No we really should. We haven't had one in a really long time. It'll be fun, I promise.” Jackie tilted his head back over the edge of the couch so he could shout toward the kitchen. “Henrik! I'm gonna throw us a sleepover party! Imma get up the other guys!” Without a second to breathe, Jackie hopped up and dashed away from the couch and up the stairs. Jamie heard the sound of knocks on wood. Even though Jamie loved Jackie, he did not want to wake the others up. He honestly, just wanted to be alone right now.

“Hard to stop him when he's got his mind set on something, huh?” Jamie turned his head and saw Henrik in the doorway to the kitchen, holding two mugs. “And after I'd made him a cup of hot chocolate too.” Henrik started, stopping over at the couch, taking a seat in the single chair. “Oh well,” Henrik huffed, placing a mug in front of Jamie and holding on to the other one. “Guess he'll just have lukewarm chocolate instead,” he remarked, taking a sip from his own mug.

Nodding in agreement, Jamie reached for his own mug, grabbing it with both hands. Putting it against they upper edge of his upper lip, Jamie inhaled the steam. “Earl grey. Your favorite, right?” Taking a small sip, Jamie nodded carefully.

The two of them just sat there in silence for a bit, drinking every now and again, seemingly waiting for something to happen. After a couple of minutes, Jamie put his mug down and started. _“Henrik, why were you down here earlier?”_

Henrik put down his mug too. “Just some,” he took a deep breath, “some trauma things.” He rotated his left shoulder a couple of times, gritting his teeth as he did. “But nothing new. Just my same old demons.” Gripping the mug, Henrik too a big swig of his drink. Once he put the mug down, he pressed his left shoulder back into the couch.

_“Sorry I made your shoulder hurt,”_ Jamie apologized. Henrik’s old war wound had left him with some nerve damage in his shoulder. According to Henrik, it would just send shooting pain through his arm every now and again. Nearly every minute if it was aggravated. _“Seems I just keep hurting my family tonight.”_ Jamie's eyes started to drift downward again.

“Jameson, hey. Look at me.” Jamie looked at a steady Henrik. “You. Did not. Cause. This. It's been bugging me since I woke up. And it's nothing that I can't handle. You hear?”

Jamie nodded hesitantly. _“But I still hurt you... When you hugged me.”_

Henrik moved to the empty space on Jamie's right. He turned Jamie's head to make sure they were making eye contact. “Jameson, You Are My Brother. Even if you hurt me, I'm gonna be here for you. No matter what.” There was no way Henrik was going to let Jamie blame himself for anything right now.

Jamie wanted to hug Henrik again, he really did. But he still didn't want to hurt Henrik any more than he was already hurting. Even if Henrik was okay with it, Jamie wasn't. _“Thank you.”_ Instead of simply signing ‘I love you’, Jamie touched his hand to his heart and put his opposite over Henrik's. His eyes started to water. He blinked his eyes and let it fall. But it was okay, these were good tears. He removed his hands to let Henrik know, _“You're a good big brother.”_

“And you,” Henrik taunted, rustling Jamie's hair, “Are an awesome little brother.” The corners of his lips curled upward as Jamie looked and saw Henrik smiling back at him.


	7. Start of the Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They were all so... nice. Family was loving. Lovely.

Thuds and creaks could be heard from the stairway. Bounds and bounds of feet at different levels of excitement. “Movie time!” Jackie yelled, drawing the attention of the two brothers on the couch.

The hero burst out into the living room, leading a tired parade of people. Marvin was holding his blanket cape over his shoulders. Jumping off the last step, his cape made a small flutter before settling back down around his ankles. Robbie was next, holding his pillow to his side in a death grip. Chase came down by sliding, or maybe bouncing down the steps. Jamie couldn't tell which one after Chase ended with a tumbling roll at the bottom. Then finally, there was Anti, doing his usual quick-slow-pause footwork. Once at the bottom, he rested his side against the wall and folded his arms across his chest. “So, I hear we’re doing a sleepover.” One corner of his lips turned up the slightest bit. No one in the moving chaos would've noticed, but Jamie did. Jamie always did.

“Yeah, sleepover,” Robbie threw out before a yawn. “Which means, I'm sleeping over there.” Rob pointed at the wall behind the couch and promptly slumped over to it. Tossing the pillow down, he fell down onto his knees and collapsed so that his head landed squarely in the middle. “Sweet sleepover.” The words were muffled as half of Robbie’s mouth was covered in pillow.

“Ah, come on Rob, don’t be such a sleepy Sallie,” Jackie taunted. “We’ll even play your favorite movie.”

“I cnn mmtch itin mm slump.” Robbie moved his head so that it was now buried in his pillow, muffling his voice even more.

“Just leave him be, Jackie!” Marvin called from the kitchen. “If he doesn't wanna watch the movie, then he doesn't get any popcorn.”

“Nts finn miff ve.”

“So, what we watching boys?” Chase questioned, plopping himself in front of the coffee table.

“You got any suggestions Chase?”

“Nah Jackie. The room is still spinning a bit. I’ll let you know when it quiets down.” A buzzer went off, making Jamie jump up a few inches.

“PopCorn’s READY!!” Marvin hollered out. Jamie took a big sniff and smelled the buttery goodness. He took another sip of his tea to try and calm down his salivary glands. “Anyone Not want PopCorn??” Out of the corner of his eye, Jamie saw Anti move from his corner into the main area. Anti leaned against the edge of the couch furthest from Henrik and surveyed the entire room.

“No, we’re all for it Marv!” Anti called back.

“Ok-see poke-see!”

“Good!” Chase fully extended his arms out to either side and laid his head back onto the table. He was just lucky his neck was right at the table’s edge. Perfect height. “Room stopped... Wait, maybe — no, we’re good.” Jamie shook his head while smiling at his over-the-top brother.

Jackie moved over to the shelf containing all the DVDs the brothers owned. “So, we got–”

“I got it!” Marvin interrupted, stepping out of the kitchen. The smell of steam and butter drifted further into the room, following the fluffy pieces of delight. Multiple bowls, precariously stacked on top of each other, were slowly set down on the coffee table. He then unstacked the bowls, making them more stable actually on the table. “Why not try something we haven’t watched in a long time?” Jamie actually wanted to hear the movies. Even if he did know the list, just hearing the titles would normally help him make a decision.

He put up his hands to start signing, but they froze when Jackie responded. “So, your suggestion Marvin?”

“How about Iron Man. Haven’t seen that one in a bit have we?” Jamie didn’t like the sound of that movie. Yes it was a superhero like Jackie, but it had so much violence in it. Sure, during the day it was fine, but maybe not right now.

“That’s because Iron Man is Jackie’s least favorite hero,” Henrik chimed in.

“Hey, you are not a *super* hero unless you have a *super* power, and what does that Tony guy have, huh? A suit? That he built. From regular technology. Sure he’s a genius, but that is not a superpower, that’s just a really good brain. He doesn’t have super-intellect.” Jackie started turning red and his hands a bit green.

“Didn’t mean to get you riled up Jackie,” Henrik rescinded, putting his hands up as a defense. Maybe jokingly, maybe actually. “Just justification.”

“Sooo, not that one then,” Chase mused, staring at the ceiling. “What about something liiii keee Men in Black? Or Ferris Bueller’s Day Off?”

Anti scoffed at the titles. “You would say that, wouldn’t you?”

“Yeah, but I am a man of simple tastes,” Chase replied, not really understanding that it wasn’t exactly a compliment. “And I also appear to be simpler when I am sleepy. Or doozy... Spinny... Doc,” Chase rotated his head to face Henrik while still keeping it on the glass table. “which one is it?”

“Most likely you’re just tired,” Henrik commented, scooting a bowl over to Chase’s face. “But let’s say all three for the time being. And try eating some popcorn.”

“Thanks Hen.” Chase smiled and clumsily tried to grabbed the bowl. His arm going from trying to reach under, to reaching over, to reaching around, to him just backing off the table and turning his body to properly get the bowl and set it down on the floor in front of him. Popping a couple kernels into his mouth, Chase got out, “It’s good medicine. ThaNK YoU MARV!”

“Also Chase, we don’t have those movies on DVD,” Jackie stated plainly.

“What? But I was just watching them the other day on the TV?”

“Streaming. We have streaming Chase.”

“So. Why can’t we stream them? They are good movies, no?” Chase was facing Jackie, but Jamie could hear the pouting lip in his words.

“Sleepover is DVD time. So, back to the DVDs. We got Amazing Spider Man, Back to the Future, Breakfast Club, Dr. Dolittle, Furious Five, Ghostbusters, Inception, Jaws, Jurassic Park...” Jamie started tuning out. None of those were movies he wanted to see. He couldn’t handle those movies right now. To be honest, Jamie wanted nothing more than to just read one of his books. Something he could focus on and ground him. Grabbing his mug, he lifted it to his lips and took a long drink of the now-warm hot tea. It was calming enough. He sat the mug on the table, still gripping it tight with both hands. The warmth felt really nice right now. If it was large enough to envelope him, Jamie would have gone to sleep that moment, even with his head swirling as it was. Warm was the only really nice thing happening at the moment.


	8. Calm 'n Chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So much. So much was going on. He would have been fine with just a mug of tea before going back to bed.

Jamie wanted nothing more than to just read one of his books. Something he could focus on and ground him. Grabbing his mug, he lifted it to his lips and took a long drink of the now-warm hot tea. It was calming enough. He sat the mug on the table, still gripping it tight with both hands. The warmth felt really nice right now. If it was large enough to envelope him, Jamie would have gone to sleep that moment, even with his head swirling as it was. Warm was the only really nice thing happening at the moment. 

It wasn’t that Jamie didn’t love having his brothers around him, but this seemed a bit too forced. Robbie was most likely dead asleep already, Chase was acting like his happy drunk self, Jackie was getting input on something before doing it (which, while Jamie appreciated, wasn’t exactly Jackie’s style). Marvin being an active participant rather than a passive force (his words; Jamie would have called it tinkering). The only ‘normal’ ones here were Henrik and Anti, and Anti was barely just a casual observer in all this mess. To be fair though, the fact that Henrik was just on the couch and not in the middle of the fray was a bit odd to Jamie, but not completely out of character.

But this was movie/sleepover time which, to Jamie, would ideally mean family bonding. And that meant something light-hearted. Fun. Something his brothers would describe as a ‘kids movie.’ But Jamie still liked those movies. Simpler ideas, really bright colors, nothing bad really happens, and it all works out in the end. Really promoted togetherness. What wasn’t to love about that.

They didn’t have many of those DVDs though, at least not on the common shelf. Jamie had a stash of those kinds of movies in his room that he would sometimes watch, but he didn’t have those as an option right now. So what did he have right now? Some stand-by Pixar movies. WALL-E. That was the first one that came to his mind. _“What about WALLE?”_ Jamie signed. No one seemed to notice. That’s when Jamie realized that he had been tuning out all the words and chaos.

Henrik was over by Jackie, each one holding multiple movie cases in one hand. Chase was not on the floor anymore, and Marvin was missing too. There was clattering in the kitchen and the sound of running water. Shouting and arguing filled Jamie’s ears. Jamie turned around and peered over the couch. Robbie’s pillow was folded over, covering his head. Guess Robbie wasn’t sleeping. _“Guys,”_ Jamie signed futilely. He hated how silent he was; how silent he felt. Waving his arms, he tried to get someone’s attention.

Marvin and Chase came out of the kitchen doorway, both holding glasses of water, chatting up a storm. Chase’s arm was hooked around Marvin’s shoulder. Whilst chugging his drink, Chase swayed forward, held up by Marvin who was trying desperately not to spill his own water. Jamie tried waving at them, but they couldn’t see him. Jamie was, in essence, invisible.

There was a whistle. Loud whistle. Almost like a siren how it hovered over everything else and simultaneously silenced it all. They all looked to the source. Anti. Apathetic as ever, Anti shifted his weight so that he was balanced on both his feet. He strolled over to the DVD shelf, parted the two bickering brothers (albeit they were both silent now), and picked up his choice. Examining it for a moment, he opened up the case, took out the disc, then went over to the player and inserted the movie. As calm as ever, he simply walked over to the couch and chose his spot on Jamie’s left. Crossing one leg over the other and outstretching an arm on the couch top, he appeared like he was the god of the couch, of the room, of the house. “Stop arguing all ‘a y'all. We’re watching WALL-E. No questions.”

Anti picked up the remote to start messing with the TV while the other brothers just stared at him. “Anti…” Marvin started, setting Chase down on the single chair. “WALL-E?”

Moving his eyes, Anti glared at Marvin. He refused to say anything for a couple of seconds, letting the judgement and and tension sink into the magician. “Yes. And?” He blinked at Jamie, then went back to the TV.

“I just… didn’t expect **you** to pick that movie.” Marvin was gripping his glass with both hands now. White knuckles and all.

“Just go sit your ass down somewhere and enjoy it.” Now Anti turned to face Marv. “And don’t act like you won’t enjoy it.” Relaxing back to his position, Anti moved on to the other pair. “Same goes for you two.” He tilted his head towards the remaining empty space near Jamie. Right now, it was too large for one person to fill, but too small for the both of them. But, if everyone on the couch were to squish together, then the four of them could all fit.

“I’ll just lay under the table,” Jackie blurted out.

“I’m against the chair,” Marvin immediately followed. Jamie could never figure out why his brothers always seemed so terrified of Anti. Yes, Jamie knew he was half demon. Yes, he had this bigger-than-life presence about him. And yes, his anger could be, terrifying at its best. BUT, he was never violent towards his family. Never.

“Guess that means I’m next to Jamie.” Marvin and Jackie scurried to their spots, Jackie nearly tripping Henrik, and Marvin bumping the chair backwards a bit. Henrik simply shuffled over to his spot. Jackie nestled his legs underneath the smallest edge so that his top half was out and his legs ran parallel to the long side of the table. It was almost as if he was half human, half table. Dragging a bowl of popcorn across the table, Jackie tried his best to get comfortable. Henrik picked up the bowl on the floor and placed in front of Chase. Chase was sitting with his head resting on one of the chair’s arm and his legs folded up so that they pressed against the other arm. Almost like he’d been scrunched by the chair. To Jamie, it looked terribly uncomfortable, but to Chase, it was just another trick in flexibility. Marv reached out to exchange his water for a bowl of popcorn. If something spilled on the carpet, popcorn was easier to clean up.

Henrik gently lowered himself down onto the leather. Sliding bowls in front of the other two couch dwellers, he asked, “We all set now Anti?”

Anti looked in Henrik’s direction, softer than before. Jamie gave a little fake smile. He wanted to feel like smiling, but he just didn’t have the heart for it at the moment. With the slow downward motion of his free hand, Anti dimmed the lights before they turned off completely. Even though the lights were controlled by a simple switch, Anti always found a way to break the rules. “Yep.” With a small press of a button, the movie started. Wiggling his body a bit and scooching back into the cushions, Jamie tried his best to get comfortable. He tried his best, Jamie told himself, _and that, is good enough._


	9. Silence, and Wavering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s about trying, isn’t it? Thought? Right?

Before they could even get into space, Chase fell asleep. Hand slumped on the table, as if reaching for the popcorn bowl. At least it wasn’t in the bowl. Jamie started munching slower, so as not to wake Chase. Instead of the popcorn going straight to his molars, he let it dance on his tongue until it could be crushed into bits against the roof of his mouth. Maybe that characteristic crunch wasn’t there anymore, but he tasted so much more butter. After a while, his mouth got stained with it too. Even after finishing off his tea, it was still there.

Next, as far as Jamie knew, had to be Marvin. He fell to his side, still leaning against the chair. Hard to imagine how he could fall over, but then again, Marv was basically pressed up against the edge. Maybe the chair just bowed out a bit, or Chase shifted in the chair. Then Jackie was asleep. His head had been resting on his arm, but now his face was half way into the floor. He was half snoring, half breathing, but that didn’t seem to wake anyone up. Luckily for Jamie, he was able to tune it out and focus on the movie. Or, more aptly, be absorbed into the movie.

Jamie only noticed the others falling asleep when they moved in his peripheral. Otherwise, his mind was concentrated on watching the movie and eating mindlessly. Amazing visuals and cute robots. And space. Jamie loved space, or maybe the idea of space. If he thought about its entirety too much, he would get overwhelmed. But the concrete stuff, the beauty that could be drawn, or seen, not all that darkness. Stars, shining all the time down upon you, whether you could see them or not. A vast world — cosmos — universe that was just inherently beautiful. Something that was constant, in a way. You could look up at night and always see the stars. Maybe they would change over the months, but they would always come back, never having truly left the night sky.

Once Jamie realized he was out of corn, he carefully moved his bowl from his lap onto the table, making as little noise as he possibly could. However, he still wanted to eat, even if he wasn’t hungry. Chase’s popcorn was barely touched. Slowly, Jamie reached over to the bowl, which is when he bumped into Henrik and realized the doctor was asleep. Henrik fell onto his right arm and rested on the couch arm. Retracting with food in hand, Jamie retreated back to his warm couch position. Although, it didn’t feel the same as it did before; it never does, does it? Against his own better judgement, Jamie decided to check on Anti too. He leaned forward to get a look at Anti from the front. Anti had his elbow planted into the arm rest and his head resting on his hand, eyes closed. Taking in a deep breath, Jamie expelled the air from his lungs as he sunk back into the seat. He returned his attention to the movie, a bit more disheartened at the fact that he was the only one enjoying it.

So, he let himself be brought back into the universe. Back into the action of the movie and the distraction from real life. Time was irrelevant as Jamie pushed any thoughts from his mind. There was just the popcorn and the movie. Jamie even felt himself cry at the end, but it was okay. Maybe today was just a day for crying.

As the credits were rolling, Jamie sank back into the couch and reality. He hadn’t even noticed he started leaning forward. After it finished, all was silent for a couple of moments before the main menu came onto the screen again. Replacing the popcorn bowl in his hand with the remote, Jamie turned off the TV then placed the remote back in its rightful place. No sense having something on he wasn’t going to watch. The lights in the kitchen were still on, though Jamie didn’t notice that until the TV was no longer emitting light.

Leaning forward, Jamie started stacking the bowls. Some empty, some partly full, emptying as much of the remains as he could into one bowl without overflowing it. Planting his feet on the ground, Jamie lurched forward and then straightened himself up, letting his knees fall back onto the couch to steady them, but keeping them stick straight. He let out a sigh. For what? For whatever. Looking down at the ground, he stepped over Henrik’s legs and was safely on the outside.

Taking the dishes to the kitchen, he thought about making himself some more tea. His mouth started becoming apparently dry as he washed the residual butter out of the bowls. It had probably been that way for a while, but his brain didn’t register it. But, he didn’t feel like going through the motions of making tea right now. Jamie grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it halfway with water from the tap. He started drinking and didn’t stop until he realized it was empty. Another fill, another drink. One more fill, but this time he only let himself take a sip. No reason he should get sick from drinking so much.

After loading the dishes into the washer, Jamie took a step back and just thought for a minute. _What do I even do now? Go to sleep? Down here, or upstairs? Does it even matter?_ He breathed out again. Walking back out, he moved to start clearing the other dishes. As he removed the two water glasses, he heard a shift of weight from the couch. Looking over, he saw his oldest brother start to rouse from his position. Jamie poured the water from one glass to the other and stacked them.

“Jamie?” Anti questioned, squinting to look at his youngest brother. “What are you doing?” Picking up Henrik’s mug, Jamie just gestured with the dishes in hand and shrugged. He turned on his heel and headed back into the kitchen, dumping the water into the sink. Jamie wasn’t sure exactly what Henrik would have done with a half-finished coffee, so he left it on the counter next to the sink. Jamie didn’t drink coffee, so he didn’t know what to do. Going back in for the last time, he went for his tea mug. Anti was more awake now. “Jamie, you don’t need to do that.” Gripping his mug with both hands, he paused for a moment. This gave him a thing to do. Nodding twice, Jamie headed back into the kitchen. He washed the tea out of the mug and it went into the washer. Large chug of water from his glass. Accidentally the entire glass again. Back out into the unknown of what to do. Maybe not so unknown.

Jamie strolled out of the kitchen and was heading for the stairs back up to his room. “Hold up a minute Jamie.” Anti was standing and grabbing Jamie’s arm. Snapping his fingers, Anti turned on the light switch. Bright light. Even though it didn’t burn Jamie’s eyes, he knew that it could hurt everyone else’s. Jamie moved forward to try and get to the light switch, but was bounced back by Anti’s grip.

_“The light is gonna wake them up,”_ Jamie pleaded with Anti.

“They are fine Jamie,” Anti replied back softly. “The light’s not gonna do much. If they can sleep through a movie, they can handle this.” Jamie relaxed his shoulders a bit. He didn’t exactly believe that, but he trusted Anti well enough. Anti relaxed his grip on Jamie too, but still kept an affirmative hand on him. “What’s going on Jamie?”

Even though he had used Jamie, it had the weight of Jameson. _“I was just going upstairs to sleep.”_

Anti looked him straight in the eyes. “More than that.”

Jamie trusted Anti; he had always been there for him. But, these were still his things, his secrets. Jackie and Henrik — well, really only Henrik — had to know because they saw something. No one but Jamie could see his nightmares. And he wouldn’t describe them either. Whether that was fear of being transported into them again, or because of the subject matter, or both. _“It’s fine… I’m fine.” _Jamie’s hand were faster than normal.

“Come on. I taught you to lie better than that.”

_“I’m gonna be fine.”_ Jamie started to pull away. He couldn’t talk about this with Anti. He could barely talk about it with Henrik, the one person that maybe was qualified to talk with him about this. And not just because Henrik was a doctor. Anti just stared back at him; his eyes were softer than normal. The kind of soft he reserved for conversations he just had with Jamie. His face though, was still tough, unwavering. _“I’ve got it under control. Truly.”_ Silence. _“What do you want me to say? That I need to have a family meeting? That I am falling apart? Because I’m not. I don’t need that. I didn’t need…”_ Jamie gestured to all the sleeping boys around the room, _“this. This was Jackie’s idea, not mine. But I didn’t need everyone down here, falling asleep partway through a movie… I don’t need you guys to help me, cause I’m fine.”_ Jamie felt his throat start to choke again.

Anti just stood there for a minute, not doing anything. Jamie, choking back tears, not wanting to collapse again. Or, maybe he did, but only for himself. By himself. But, he couldn’t leave right now, even if he wanted to. “Jamie. I just want you to tell me the truth.” And that was it. No pouting, no sad eyes. No hugging, no shaking. No yelling, no unsolicited advice. Just, silence, and staring back at Jamie.


	10. Dream Catcher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why did he need to talk. Why need to say anything? Why did he need help.

Jamie breathed in. It was staggered within the same beat, and couldn’t be held. Spasms he didn’t control cascaded throughout his entire respiratory tract. He shut his eyes tight, like not seeing Anti would make him go away. But of course that didn’t happen. No, maybe he could just slow his breathing. Maybe he could remember what that hug was like from earlier. His limbs and his mind didn’t feel it, but his heart calmed down and his breathing became slightly more even. “_I… I can’t talk about it with you.”_ Jamie knew that wasn’t the answer Anti was looking for, but it was the only one he could give.

Anti exhaled for a long while, and then simply stated, “Okay.” Okay? Jamie would have expected a lot of different things. Maybe wrath, maybe guilt, more staring, yelling, persistence. Anti shaking Jamie, using his green magic to manipulate the truth out of him. Something that wasn’t just an okay. “So, what do you need now?”

_“Good sleep,”_ Jamie signed absentmindedly, still taken aback by the first response.

“So, you’re not sleeping then.” Jamie realized what he had said now. Slowly, he shook his head no. It felt like he was disappointing Anti, even though they were still in the same position as they were five minutes ago. “You’re having nightmares?” Slow shake yes. Jamie felt like a ghost inside of himself. His body didn’t want to move, his brain felt laggy, and his face was numb. Maybe it was him just caving in after the night he had, maybe it was manipulation, maybe he was just tired. Whatever it was, it had a hold over him, and wouldn’t let go. “You know, if you’re having nightmares, I can go with you into your dreams and-”

This. This was what Jamie was waiting for. The pound, the anvil, the thud. The thing that set him off.

His breath hitched. He started waving his hands frantically and gripping at Anti, simply because he was something to grip on to. His entire body tensed up and eyes became laser focused on his brother. Trying desperately to tell him, _Please don’t do this._ Wishing – hoping that he could understand the shear magnitude of terror that Jamie felt in his bones – throughout every inch of his being.

“Alright Jamie, alright.” Anti grabbed a hold of both of Jamie’s arms and pinned them at his sides. Even though his hands and arms couldn’t move, Jamie still felt the trembling in them. “I’m not gonna do that.” Anti started nodding slowly, and Jamie mimicked him. It seemed to calm him down some. His feet touched the ground again; Jamie didn’t even realize he wasn’t on the ground. Once he was stabilized on his feet, Jamie felt Anti release his grip.

“How about you use this?” Anti held his palm out face up. A puff of dark grey smoke suddenly shrouded his hand. After it settled and dissipated, there was an object in his hand. A circle of twine, with strings cutting across the circle, forming a sort of spiral pattern.

_“It catches dreams,”_ Jamie noted. _“But they don’t really work.”_ Why would Anti suggest a dream catcher?

“That’s because most people don’t know how to use them.” He held it by the edge and let it hang down. “Most people hang them, but actually,” tossing it up, he flipped his hand over and caught it so that it was now laying flat, “you’re supposed to sleep on it. If you wanna catch dreams, sure hang it, those can float away. But nightmares drag you down, which means that your net needs to be below you. Plus…” Black sparkles started dazzling around the edges and in the intersections of the string. “Most people don’t have one that works to actually pull out those nightmares.” Jamie was still a bit skeptical. Anti had never mentioned something like this. Yes it was enchanted with his magic (well black magic, which was the least threatening one), but it was still chaotic magic. Did he really need to risk making his nightmares getting worse? Although, Jamie did wonder how much worse they could actually get. He physically shook the thought out of his mind.

“It’s totally safe, Jamie, I swear.” Jamie didn’t realize that he had responded to Anti. But, he was on the fence anyways, so maybe no was a good answer. “I can be in the room with you while you sleep and this works it’s magic, if that will make you feel better.”

Hesitantly, Jamie picked up the dreamcatcher to examine it. He held it in his hands, twisted it around, rang his fingers along it. Marvin had taught Jamie about magical objects and how you can feel the energy in them. And depending on your feeling to them and how they react to you, you could figure out if it was malicious or benevolent. This didn’t lash out at him (some malevolent spells would prick you). Sandwiching the catcher between his hands, he flipped it over, moving the catcher from the left to the right. The sparkles felt like tiny crystals on his skin. There was a shining residue on his left hand, but it felt just like regular glitter; looked like regular glitter too. While he may have doubted its capability to deliver on Anti’s promises, his stomach didn’t seize and his heart didn’t tighten when he held it. So, at the very least, this was not meant to do Jamie harm.

_“Alright,_” Jamie finally conceded. _“Just let me get the lights first.”_ Jamie turned back around towards the kitchen. Reaching slightly into the doorway, he flicked the switch, immersing the slightly chaotic countertops into dark. The living room light switch was near the stairs. And below that switch was his flashlight. Picking it up, he flicked it on and used the rim of it to turn off the lights downstairs. Warm light bathed the steps as Jamie trudged up them, followed by Anti.

Once in his room, Jamie flicked his light on for Anti. He moved his chair from his desk and rotated it so that it was now facing his bed. Jamie laid the dreamcatcher on his pillow. He sat down on his bed so that he could face Anti. Anti was shuffling in the seat. _“Do you want a pillow to make you more comfortable?”_ Jamie felt a bit ashamed asking Anti to watch over him while he slept. He wasn’t a little kid anymore. He felt like he shouldn’t have needed constant monitoring. Even if it made Jamie feel safe, he felt like he was basically doubting Anti. _“And sorry I’m asking you to do this.”_

Anti lifted the seat and walked over to Jamie’s bed with it. “I’m fine. Besides, I know Marvin has undoubtedly warned you to be cautious of magic. Especially mine.” There was that devilish smile. Just enough to make you feel uneasy, but Anti’s signature. Jamie had learned to disregard any mal-intent that was supposed to be conveyed. All of it was a bluff in Jamie’s eyes. Mischief was Anti’s forte. But not malice. Never malice. “Now get some sleep.” Anti leaned back into the chair, maybe even tipping the chair a bit. Quick snap, and Jamie’s lights were off. “I’ll be right out here.”

Jamie nodded, comforted slightly by having company. As he laid down though, he worried about what would happen in the coming hours. What he would inevitably end up doing, or saying. Closing his eyes, he turned his face away from Anti towards the wall. Drifting off, he felt a single tear roll off his cheek. It dripped from his face onto the catcher, releasing a lavender scent. It was soothing, almost intoxicating. Losing consciousness, he hoped he was going to a better world, for once. Watched over by his guardian demon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wė̢ a͛͘ren͈'͕ṱ fini̪͐sh̝͝e̺d yet̴̰̿.̠..̷͍̄..͓̚.͙͑ ̲̽. ͖̈́.̴̖̌.͖͍̣͑͝.̲̜͚̿̔͝ ̲̽.̴̨̙̪̦̹̦͋̈̌̚̕͝.̞̠̟͉̈͆͆̀͝ͅ.̷̞̝̱̦̪̥̦͈̐̾̈́̒̽̈̏ ̲̽.̴̢̥͍̳̜̰̆̈̉̾̏̑̔͘͜ͅ


	11. The Dream Realm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe once, once, he would sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning: nightmares, violence (more implied than graphic)

Anti waited until Jamie’s breathing became slow and more even. Until his movements were small twitches and his face was calm. The dreamcatcher would work, but not because it was magic. No, not because it was magic. Because it wasn’t. The black twinkles an illusion, a little powder to give it a believable appearance. In reality, it was basically just a regular dreamcatcher without all the drapings and color. Just the most basic backbone of it. Anti was the thing that made it magic. It was a portal for him to step into Jamie’s dreams to get to the root of his problem.

Laying his hand on the edge of the twine, Anti gathered himself, closed his eyes, and traveled into Jamie’s subconscious. He had to be careful of where he ended up though. If Jamie had already started dreaming, he would need to be sure that he wasn’t seen. Because unlike with his green powers, where he chose the path, he was using black magic to get into the subconscious, where he had to follow predetermined paths. Even if green magic was faster, he wasn’t trying to manipulate Jamie, just see what was going.

Anti landed in their living room. It was dark, but there was a light centered around the kitchen, encompassing a small area outside of it that, realistically, could not be lit. Staying out of the residual light, Anti moved around the room to get a better visual. Henrik, Jamie, and Jackie were together, Jamie sandwiched between his other two brothers in the kitchen. Jamie seemed to be glowing, as if he was the center of the light. For now though, he was safe.

Looking around, Anti tried to find a doorway, but not just a regular door. A door to the subconscious. There was movement in the shadows. A vine seemed to start growing and slithering towards the light. It was blacker than the shadows and emitted malice. Anti stomped his foot down on the parasite and bent down. Grabbing the venom on either side of his foot, he scorched it with his red powers, the energy he used to make things bleed. It struggled in his hands before finally falling limp. His hands started glowing a darker red while the vine became a lighter grey. Anti looked back at Jamie. He was still there, unaware, and still safe.

Lifting the vine from the floor, he gathered it up and followed it back to its source. The toxin couldn’t be left there, and most likely it would lead Anti where he wanted to go. There, the doorway to the basement. Opening the door, Anti felt a small chill coming from an empty void. No stairs, no walls, just a constantly morphing screen. What a bubble might look like if it were black. He stepped into the portal, and onto what felt like ground.

Taking in his surroundings, he knew this was the place he needed to be. It looked like an infinite storage room, littered with bubbles and watery rectangles. The bubbles were perfect spheres. Some had a sort of shine and radiancy to them while others looked covered in dust and dim. Each one of them playing something that happened to Jamie. Then there were the watery squares. They were in fluid motion, but had constantly waving edges. Some were merely a thin screen, some fully developed cubes. The screens simply had a picture displayed on them, while the cubes had moving video. Sometimes different things were displayed on each side. Thin wires connected some of these objects to each other. Pulsing white with rounded edges, straight purple ones, winding green ones. Enough to illuminate the entire space, and too many to count. Everything seemed to be linked in one way or another. Strings that were various vibrancy, colors, flow, thickness, flourish…

Anti looked behind him for a now vanished doorway. Stepping away from it, he realized that he was near a bubble. Bright, shiny bubble. It started floating up towards the top of this place, or maybe infinitely away. Jamie was safe. The vine in his hand started to disintegrate and fade away. The entire thing dissolved into dust that disappeared before it hit the ground.

Along the floor, there were more vines. Not black like Anti had thought, but a dark maroon. Flowing and glowing. Gazing down at his hands, they started to glow red too. A brighter red, more like light than this poison. He was sickened by their mere presence.

The vines were all connected to screens. Most of them were fleshed out cubes with multiple perspectives, each a subtle variation of one of the other sides. One cube was a frozen wasteland with someone that looked to be Henrik. Another scene where Jackie was in an alleyway, beating up someone. There was a pit that was shrinking, Marvin standing over it, using a dark purple energy with red spheres interlaced. An empty decrepit house that Anti watched ignite and burst into flames, smoke starting to cloud the vision… and hands trying to call out. Nightmares. These were his nightmares. And from the looks of things, Anti was just at the edge of these nightmares, the more recent ones. Further ahead there was a faint red glow.

Choosing a vine, Anti started to follow it back to its source. The roots got thicker, and started glowing more. As did he. The scenes he passed got darker, more violent, more chilling, more demonic. Until there was a wall, spanning into the infinite sky and out to either side of him. It was bricked up and strong as concrete. The roots coalesced into a giant mass that came up to Anti’s waist. It looked like it had burst out of the wall, sending cracks out from the invasion site. Little bits of rubble started falling as the cracks progressed a bit further. Anti needed to do something. Now.

He had to know what was on the other side of the wall. But, he couldn’t just go knocking the barricade down either. So, he created a little looking glass on its edge. There were fewer layers of stone than there should have been, but the spell worked and allowed Anti to see into the space behind. It was a bubble. It had dust gathered all around its base, but it was just as shiny as the bubble Anti stepped out of. Anti started to put some pieces together in his mind, but he wasn’t sure of himself. He needed to be absolutely sure. And that meant seeing that bubble in full. Even though it was risky, Anti had to go to the other side of the wall.

First, stabilize the looking glass. Second, go into glitch form. He would have a few minutes to work before everything became unstable. But he needed to get a closer look, know exactly what was causing this. Because if he was wrong about his theory, he could shatter Jamie’s mind.

Phasing himself, he moved through his doorway to the bubble and hovered just at its edge. This bubble showed Jamie, the only one Anti had seen do so. Jamie was surrounded by his brothers. Their red eyes looked down upon Jamie’s body. And then Anti came into frame. Nothing could be heard outside the bubble, but Anti knew what words were being spoken. They were burned into his mind. 

“P̷̢̢̱̠̯͗̆̍͊̓͜͝Ȕ̷̺̪͉̟̺̙P̸̜̒̑̏̕͝P̸̜͒̍̊̔Ę̴͖̩̩͘T̷͇̪̻̗̠͓̒̇ͅS̴͍̔̅̐̅͂͂̈́ ŵ̛̳̠h͖̰̿̌a̢̫̅̍ţ̭͊̈́ ̯̱̐̚a̲̘͌ŗ̥̍̀e̞̍̀ͅ ͍͔̽̃y̘̱̾̉o̮̘̊̉ȗ̝̩̾-” And that’s when he saw Jamie. His footsteps left flames on the bathroom’s tile floor. “ Ý̟̈͜ȏ̭̃ǔ̻ ͈̫̏͑Ȉ̜̾D̅̌Ḭ͙̂̚O̜͓̎̈T̡̝̽̉S͕̱̾͝!̧͕̈́͘ ͙̺̓̐W̡͇̔͑ḣ͍͇̒ȁ̙̈́͜t̛͈̪̽ ̧͈̈́̊h͚̲́̉a̤͌́v̛̳͋ẹ̱͗͋ ̩͎̋̄y̨̼̅̿o͉̳̓͂u̩̘͆͆ ̢̰̃͝d̖̟o̢̅̕͜n̯̱̈́e̩͉͗͋**!**”

Chase answered, “You told us to make him suffer, so we did.” Chase grinned brightly, proud of their work.

“J̢̰̓͗A̝̰̔͝C̺͈͛̈K̺͖̆͝! Ņ̙̑͝Ỗ̩͔T̠̪̑͝ J͇̥̉̍Ȃ̢̟̚M̟̺͗̾Ë͖̦̽Ŝ̩̹̍O̟̟̾̈́N̠̣̒͝**!!**” Anti placed the small, fragile body on the floor and started letting his stolen bit of white power flow through him into Jamie.

“We thought you’d be proud,” Jackie mentioned.

“P̮̲͒̔R̙̯̓̓Ó͈̠̊Ů̟̩̃Ḏ͓́͝**?̈!** J̄͗ẳ̟m̩͙͠é̻̰̈́s̤̜̅̕o͍̻͋̉n͈̆̄ͅ ̨̜͂͝h͑͝a͚̪͆̚s͚̟̈́͂ ͖̥͝͝d̠̙͛̾ö̠̮́̚n̝̜̿̊e̯̟͐͘ ̭͇͒N̖͖̋̋Ỏ̢͖͝T̮̗̄͂Ḣ̛̰̬Ǐ̥̰̈́N̪̪̐̈́G͕̭͌̋.”

Marvin piped up, “But neither did-”

“Y̼͈̐̈́e̤̊̃ͅs̨͕̏͆,̂̚ y̢̛̠̾o̹̣̒͝u̱̤͛̍ ̹͐̄d̻̳̂͒i̹̯͑̈́d̝̪͒͌! A̲̳͊̊n͈̘̏̕d̗̯͗̆ ̈́͐ỹ͓͍̊ȍ̡̪͌u̘͈͛̃ ̤̖̈́͘d̟̦͐̊ī̠̯͛ḍ͎̄̕ t͓̞̓̀h͍̖͆ẹ̢̊́m̬̘̾͝ ̹̃͌B̛͓͈̑E̲̮͊̈C͔̝̈́̐Á̲̩̔U̙̗͆̒Ş̗̃̿Ẽ̮͝ͅ ͐̌o͓̽̈́ͅf̼̟͒͘ ̆̉J͎̖͐̌A̡͛͛͜C̬̼͆̊K̪̓͠ͅ.̌͂ ” Anti’s hair was fiery red, maybe even on fire, but his face was growing dimmer. “H̺̭͝E̲̤͑̀ ̞̲́̍i̠͔͗͝s̱̟̈̏ ̙̰̅͊ẗ͚̹̓h̠̥͒̓e͈̝̔̕ ̩̥͑͘p̯̫̂͘ȓ̙̞̐o̪͍͌̕b̭͚̈̄l̛̟̬̚ȩ̞̂̈ṁ̱̰̄.͂”

“Exactly, which is why we did this. _This_ will hurt him more than anything else we could ever do,” Chase reiterated himself.

“ N̳̿͒ͅö̡̠̉,͑͗ ̃ţ̃̄ḫ̇͛a͑͠ẗ͕́̌ͅ'̗͒̑s̔̋ n̜̖̈́̈́ǒ̠̲̆t̛̻͖̋ ̃́w̞̬̌̚ḧ͖́͗ȁ̢̫̔ẗ'̽s g̐̋o̲̓ǹ͌ͅň̨̍ä̧̕ ḣ͙a̩̎̓p̗͐̓p̠̈́́e̛̜͠ň͙͝` ..͕̌̀. ..́. .͐͌.́.̖̃̎ ͙͆͘.͕̌̀.͎̇͋.̫̌ ̼̂̍Ȳ̻̌ő̩͌u̮͆̂ ͎̓̆ạ̿̕r̘̆͑ḙ̊̔ ͍̆̐t͕͋h̨̊̎ë̡́̌ ̗́̅p̢̈̾ü͇͑p̯͌͛p̨͛e͖͂͝t̫̿̄š̭̓,̫̊̊ ̼̅͝a̯͋̅n̹͝d̨̄̀ y̜̑̔ơ̯͠ư̼͊ do͆ ̗̀w͔̓́h͈͝a̛͛t̎ Ï s͇̀ay.̓̃ Y͘ơ̢͠ṳ̒͘ ̾d̼͗ö͛n’t ̂in͗t́ë̩͠rp̌rḙ͑͘t̫̂̒ for̬̄̅ s͓̾̕h͉̍̽i͐t̓.̛͙͋ ̠̀Y͐̕ou̚ ̒̐j̓u͎͗̑s̭̍̇ṫ̹̉ ̋li̅s̖̄t̞͊̆e͉͊͘n͕͆͘**!** Ḡ̪͊o̗͐̒t̝̑̆ ͗͂i͊t̊͝**!͍̭** ” They all nodded shamefully.

“So what do we do now, master?” Jackie asked.

“ F̦̚u͝c͑kĩng̪͗.̹̔.́͜. ” This was taking far too long. Something was wrong. “h̳e̳l̖p͙ ̖m͖ḙ.”

“How?” They all said in unison.

“J̙ụs̘t̡,̟ ̩h̖e̥l̯p̫ ̯m̰e̤.” Anti was staring up at them in desperation. His color was fading. They just stared back at him quizzically, their beady red eyes searing right through him. He didn’t need puppets for this, he needed people. “H͓̕E͖̹LP ME**!!!**”

Their eyes reverted back to their normal colors. “HENRIK**!!**” Anti yelled, leaning back from Jamie. He was drained and looked as if he would faint. Henrik took a few moments to get his bearings, but then he realized why Anti was calling him. As Henrik started working on Jamie, Anti turned to Jackie. “Jackie, get help.” The bubble turned black.

It was a few moments before it started back up again, before he had entered the room, but Anti didn’t need to see that. Pulling himself back through the wall, he materialized again. He dropped his portal and then dropped down to the floor. Jamie was not supposed to have been able to remember that. Henrik had said he was too young, and that he showed no signs of remembering. If Anti had just checked all those years ago, he could have stopped this. Manipulated it so that he wouldn’t be feeling this pain, just like he did for all the others.

But now, now he couldn’t truly get to it. And even if he did, that would make Jamie just relive everything, and with any luck, go through every single thing it had spawned. That would surely destroy Jamie. Jamie didn’t deserve to suffer. He didn’t deserve this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, bet you didn’t see that one coming. Did you?


	12. Sweet Dreams, little brother

Anti just sat there for a few minutes, trying to come up with a plan. This red root was his magic. And he couldn’t destroy it with the energy within him. That first vine, he must have simply taken the power back, not actually used it for destruction. As long as this thing had his power, Anti felt powerless.

Without thinking, he conjured a knife with red mist and stabbed the stem. It started leaking red, which quickly converted into a small branch. Enraged with its persistent, he tore the new limb off. Another one grew back in its place. Anti glared at the detached part. It melted and turned to dust. That gave him an idea.

Picking up the knife, Anti started channeling the violence within his body into the knife. He lifted his knife, then slammed it down as hard as he could, turning some of the red energy into fire to try and cut through the thing. Two slices and it was in two, but he had to move the mass away while it was still bleeding, or it could reattach. Anti planted his hands on it, then blasted it away. It only moved a couple of feet, but that was far enough and quick enough.

It stopped bleeding in seconds, but neither part did anything. Almost like they cauterized themselves. The branched root system was now pulsing red through itself. And the stem stuck in the wall wasn’t dying. Fuck. Well, he knew that there were two ways to kill it. He could cut off the vines one-by-one, or he could absorb its power. Looking opposite the wall, he saw many vines branching off, moving around. Too many vines. It would take too long to do that, more than the few hours he had before morning. And while he was in here, where time moved faster than in the real world, even less than that. But, he didn’t know if he could handle absorbing the power from both these things. He couldn’t just leave Jamie in this state of disarray though…

Placing a hand on the wall root, he let down his own walls and called back his power, not even fighting it. He felt the structure start to crumble, so he kept going until he felt the tingle in his fingers stop and his hand fall to the ground. Looking through the hole, he could see the dust and the bottom of the bubble. It didn’t start moving, or glowing red, or changing or anything. Good.

While the bubble may have been unscathed, the wall wasn’t. It wasn’t healing itself. Even if it did, Anti wasn’t sure that this wouldn’t happen again, that the memory couldn’t infect Jamie’s mind. He did what he needed to do. Using his black magic, he directed energy towards the hole and used it as cement to stabilize the barrier. But that wasn’t enough. It needed more reinforcement. No barricade Anti could form would be helpful if the red vines could just tunnel through. So, he needed to make something they couldn’t burrow through.

Concentrating, he formed an image in his mind. A picture of Henrik at his graduation, little Jamie hugging Henrik’s leg. The two were surrounded by all their brothers. All except Anti. He projected it onto the wall, making it span as far as he could. It wasn’t like the other watery screens, it was a perfect rectangle. But Jamie’s mind wouldn’t accept it without a little persuasion.

Anti laid one hand on the rectangle and the other on the floor. He let the green manipulation swirl around him. “You were at Henrik’s graduation. And you were so happy. You wanted a picture with everyone in it. Just to remember the occasion. Because everyone was so happy.” A few more seconds, and he let go. The picture had the formation of wavy edges. It started having a shimmering effect, and the screen started displaying a video.

It was from Jamie’s perspective, and Anti was in view. Jamie ran over and appeared to be whispering to Anti. Anti nodded, then got the camera from Chase. Jamie gathered everyone and set them up for the photo. He posed while holding onto Henrik’s leg. Anti lifted the camera to his eye and started taking photos. Once he lowered it, Jamie rushed over. He scrolled through the photos until he settled on one. Everyone smiling, gathered around Henrik and Jamie. And it froze there.

Good. Jamie had it now. And he didn’t need to use it right now, otherwise it would have been rolling again. Now the last bit, the remaining red. He had to absorb it, remove it from Jamie’s mind. Only, it was more power than he’d ever possessed. There would have been a time that fact was a good thing, but those days were long behind him.

Anti reached out his hand. It jerked back before it could touch the stem. He looked at the defiant limb. “You **Have** to do this.” Stretching both arms out, he made contact with the red and it started flowing back. Pure energy shot through him. His nerves grew stiff, muscles tensed, and his body was rigid. It felt like needles were flowing through him. The palms of his hands were losing all their tactile feeling, too overwhelmed with the surge that it felt like they were burning. But he wasn’t done.

Mouth clenched, he could feel his teeth grinding down into each other. His eyes were being squeezed shut, and his jaw locked tight. Anti did his best to push forward and work faster. The ground started shaking violently. It was doing its best to fight back, stay there. No. He shifted his mind, not simply to take in the energy, but to call it back to him, actively make it return to its rightful owner.

Concentrating, Anti visualized the tendrils. He watched them recoil and dissolve as the power came rushing back. The rectangles folded into themselves and became absorbed with the red energy. Just a little bit more now…

Anti strained to open his eyes. He would have to make a fast exit. But he couldn’t see any exit; his vision was drenched in a crimson haze. Absorbing the last bit of power, Anti fell to the ground, overwhelmed by everything. He felt himself vibrating, shaking, phasing. Through the static in his mind, he tried to focus his energy; he tried to sense his power, sense the portal he had made with the dreamcatcher. As soon as he felt its aura, he took off like a rocket. Shooting forward, not exactly seeing where he was going, or even steering; yet he still managed to avoid everything, as if he had a map of Jamie’s mind. He was moving too fast for his body to keep up, but he didn’t need to have a body. Before he burned up, he glitched out, and let his innate power seeking steer him out.

Anti re-materialized outside, standing over Jamie. The entire room was bathed in a warm red glow, emanating from Anti. He felt a seething… Scarlet electricity sparked in his hand… and it started drifting towards Jamie’s head without Anti realizing it. Before he could cause any more damage, Anti slapped his arm away. His body started to glitch out again. There was so much more Anti had to do to help Jamie, but he couldn’t be here right now — not in this state.

Anti had to escape. The window. He opened it a crack, but that was enough. With what little sentience he felt he had left, he charted a course for a place far away from here. Somewhere that he wouldn’t hurt his little brother anymore than he already had. Leaning over the window, he looked back at Jamie one last time. He was sleeping peacefully, and Anti sensed a sort of calm about him. Much better than where Jamie began the night. “Sweet dreams, little brother.” With that, he slinked into the early morning, not knowing when he would be back, or if he ever could come back. One thing was certain, Jamie was better now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jamie woke up to a crisp breeze stinging his nose. Tilting his head, he noticed that the window was open. Half-conscious, Jamie slumped over the side of his bed and found his footing on the floor. He shuffled over to the window and pressed down on the edge, making a small woosh as the air tried its best to rush in before being shut out.

Starting to become aware of his surroundings, Jamie remembered that Anti had been watching him sleep. Turning, he expected to see Anti fallen asleep in the chair, but it was empty. His heart sank into his chest and left a hole there for a bit. Jamie tried to reassure himself that maybe Anti was just in the bathroom, but his heart only grew more pained at that thought. He hated the idea of the truth more than the lies he would tell himself.

But, at least he was hurt over his reality, and not his nightmares. Jamie didn’t have a nightmare this time. And not that dreamless sleep either. For the first time in months, Jamie had a good dream. Somehow though, he still had restless sleep. _Small victories, small victories._

Jamie remembered the dreamcatcher Anti had given him. Sure enough, there was the catcher on his pillow, sparkling more than before. Removing it from his bed, Jamie held it in the soft morning light coming through his window. There was a dark ruby goop clinging to the strings. It started sparkling as the rays hit it. It appeared as though Anti hadn’t left Jamie defenseless.

Some of it suddenly slipped off towards the ground. Jamie looked down, but it seemed the goop never made it. There was just his picture of Henrik’s graduation on the ground. How it got out, Jamie didn’t know. Maybe Anti got bored and started looking around at Jamie’s things. Picking it up, Jamie felt a sting of pain at the thought of Anti snooping through his treasures, but Jamie couldn’t help but smile at that picture. Everyone was so happy that day. And he was such a wee little lad. It was just a wonderful snapshot of a memory.

Maybe his brothers knew where Anti was. After all, the man never left for too long. Jamie stood up a little straighter and started walking with a bit more spring. He felt okay today. For the first time in a long time, he felt ready to face the day.


End file.
